Welcome to the Family
by ShotgunRedneck
Summary: Harry finds out that through his mother's side, he has some relatives alive in America. And after one visit, he is entered a world of PMSing Goddesses, Video game loving Demon Brokers, a biker bar full of Weres and a Goth/Punk 11 Thousand Immortal! Set in GoF


NEW FANFICTION! And this one is going to blow your MINDS! A Harry Potter XOVER with the Dark-Hunter Series! Wait wait wait! Don't press the back button yet! Hear me out! Just read this chapter and if you hate it, the go back. If not, _**favorite**_ this BITCH! Disclaimer TIME!

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Dark-Hunter Series... If I did? Well, let's just say Simi will be one happy Charonte.**_

Simone laughed as she danced with Jesse and Gloria. Xypher was sitting on the couch in their new apartment, smiling like a fiend. Well, in his case, a Phobotory Skotos/ gallu hybrid. As Simone did her "monkey dance", the phone rang. Xypher went and answered it, skirting by the dancing demon & ghosts. "Hello." he said. A voice he was very familiar with answered, _"Hey Xyh. How's it going?"_ Xypher smirked.

"Hey Acheron. What's going on?" The Atlantean laughed. "_Oh nothing. I just found some information that would make your fiancee one very happy woman. Can I get her on the phone?"_ Xypher placed the phone down on the counter and used his powers to turn the radio off. Making the two ghost go "HEY!" and Simone to look at the love of her life.

"Honey? Is something up?" He went over to her and said, "Acheron is on the phone. He said he had something to tell you." Simone nodded, going over to where Xypher had placed the phone. She picked it up. "Hello?" _"Hey Simone. I just found out something that will possibly make your day."_ Simone raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what would that be?" _"Well, it seems your grandmother's sister had children and well, let's say you have family over in Jolly Old England. That are still alive."_

The ME gasped and dropped the phone. Xypher was there in less than a heartbeat. "Simone? Love? Is everything okay?" She grabbed his shirt, tears running down her face. "Xypher. I still have family left alive." The hybrid's jaw dropped, as did Jesse and Gloria's. Simone grabbed the phone, quickly speaking, "Where are they? How many are there? Can I go meet them?" Xypher bit his lip in order not to laugh. He could already see Ash looking at the phone in shock (in his mind's eye he could.) The taller male stood next to his soon-to-be-wife as she talked to the older immortal...

Harry stood in the kitchen, helping his aunt make food. The Boy-Who-Lived kept glancing at his uncle, who was sitting at the table. The large man was sitting there, with his son Dudley. And they were going over what the plan was for that evening. Apparently, some lady from America (and her fiancee) were coming over tonight. From what the men of the house could understand from an ecstatic Petunia, they (Her and, through Lily, Harry) had family living in America and she was coming over to meet them.

Harry sighed as he looked at the clock. 7:45. Their relative would be here in about 15 minutes and Harry heard his uncle speak. "Alright, since we have time. Let's go over what will be happening." The young wizard rolled his eyes and continued cooking. He ignored whenever they (the Dursleys) would speak about him.

They continued on like this, ignoring Harry as the green-eyed boy continued cooking. 5 minutes before 8, they went to their "stations." Dudley was standing near the door, ready to take their coats. Petunia was in the lounge, drinks on a tray. Vernon was at the entrance to the foyer, waiting to open the front door. Harry? He was in the dining room, finishing getting it ready for their American guests.

But at 8:03, the doorbell rang. Harry stiffened and quickly peeked into the foyer as he heard Vernon boom, "Welcome!" From coming behind his uncle, was a woman. She was around 5'8 and had curly brown hair that reminded Harry of his best friend Hermione. Following her was perhaps the tallest human man Harry had ever seen. He had to be at _least _6'5 and he had the brightest blue eyes Harry had ever seen on, well, anyone.

The wizard grinned when the man took off his leather coat and tossed it at Dudley. The woman growled at the man, making him hold up his hands in surrender. "Uh, hello. My name is Vernon Dursley and I welcome you to my home. This is my son Dudley, and my wife is in the lounge. Come, let us go sit." The two new comers followed and Harry's eyes widened as he saw two other people follow his aunt's guest. One looked like he was stuck in the 1980s. The other looked like a normal college girl. And they were bickering.

"Jesse! If I hear you say ANYTHING about Karma Chameleon while we are here, I am throwing you at the nearest Daimon!" The 80s ghost pouted. "It's a good song and you know it! Simone agrees with me." The girl ghost folded her arms over her chest. "Yes but Xypher agrees with me! He's been in Tartarus and they tortured him with it!" The rest of the conversation between the two ghosts vanished as the both suddenly walked through the wall that led to the lounge.

Harry felt his jaw hit the ground as he stared at the wall they disappeared into. His aunt and uncle HATED anything paranormal and this was high on their list. Harry creeped closer to the lounge and began to eavesdrop. "So, how do you like England so far Simone?" he heard his aunt ask. A new voice answered. It was feminine and accented. But it wasn't an accent Harry had heard. "It's a bit cold but hey, I am from the South. You have a very lovely house Mr. Dursley."

Harry rolled his eyes at that and crouched near the door. "Thank you Ms. Dubois." Again, The Boy-Who-Lived rolled his eyes. Vernon pronounced her last name "Do-boys." when it was pronounced "Dyou-b-ua." "Please, call me Simone. We are family after all." "And speaking of family, we were told you were raising your nephew. He is Simone's family and we would like to meet him as well. Where is he?" asked a very male voice. It also had an accent. But it was different that Simone's.

"Oh, he's in the kitchen. He is, slightly disturbed. Doesn't like strangers. He likes cooking though. Helps calms his nerves. I can fetch him if you like?" said Petunia. Harry practically transported on how fast he moved. From the kitchen, he heard the man's voice rumble and someone making their way to the kitchen. Harry quickly moved, as if making it look like he was checking on the steak and kidney pie that was in the oven.

"Boy! Come with me! And behave yourself!" hissed his aunt. Harry nodded and followed his horse like aunt. They entered the lounge, allowing Harry to see where everyone was sitting. His uncle was sitting in his chair, with Dudley on the sofa next to him. The two alive guests were sitting on the love seat. The two ghosts were wandering around. The girl was floating near the bookshelf, looking at the books. The 80s boy was looking at the pictures.

Harry stopped at the entrance to the lounge as his aunt went and took her seat. The new woman stood and went over to Harry. "Hello. I'm Simone Dubois. It is nice to meet you Harry." Harry gave her a shy smile. "Nice to meet you too Mrs. Dubois." Simone waved it away. "Simone. We are family, yes? Please come sit down with us. Harry, meet my fiancee Xypher Phobos." The Gryffindor gave him a wave. "Hello."

Simone smiled and pulled on Harry's arm until Harry was standing in front of the only free seat left in the room. The matching armchair to his uncle's seat. Which said man was looking at Harry with an "If you sit there I am going to make your life hell" look. Harry, deciding to be defiant, sat down. His uncle turned purple as Harry's new relatives smiled at him. Well, Simone smiled. Xypher gave a grin.

"So, Simone, what do you do?" Aunt Petunia decided to ask, trying to get Vernon's attention off of their nephew. "Oh, I am a Medical Examiner. I teach at Tulane and work at the local morgue. I help find killers by examining their victims." That caught the Dursleys' attention. Dudley no longer feigned interest, Vernon sputtered as Petunia paled. "I-I see. And your fiancee? What do you do?" The man leaned back, slinging his arm across the back of the loveseat. "I am, well, let's just call it an Identifier. I study murder cases to figure out what the killer was. I met Simone while I was on a case. Tiny thing. She was getting mugged in an alley. Same alley I was getting information in. And man, she was fierce."

Simone harrumphed. "Well, there was 4 of them and they were being mean. And I was there looking for some information myself." Harry smiled at them. He liked them already. "Anyways, I decided to go help. Until one of the bastards handcuffed us together." This made his fiancee laugh. "We couldn't move 20 feet from each other until we managed to get them off. During that time, we ran into his half-brother." This made Xypher mutter, "Poser newb." Petunia decided to ask, "Oh? What happened?"

Xypher growled, "Let's just say, it felt like having a sword rammed through your side. Hope the bastard is roasting in Tartarus." That made the Dursleys frown. "Tartarus? May I ask, what is that?" Petunia asked. "It's Greek Hell. The god of the Underworld Hades runs it and let me tell you, Lucifer ain't got shit on Hell." stated Xypher. Simone swatted at his arm. "Xypher! Language!" she looked at the stunned Dursleys and amused Potter. "I'm sorry. I'm still training him. Still trying to get him to learn manners." The 80s ghost snorted. "Hun, I wish you luck." Harry, but his lip in order not to laugh. Xypher sent the ghost a glare that actually made the boy's hair smoke.

Simone stepped on his foot. "Honey, remember, these people aren't Greek or Cajun. They don't get your breed of humor." "Cajun? What is that?" it was the first time Harry heard Dudley speak since the two guests entered the house. "Oh. That is what I am. I live in New Orleans, Louisiana. And most people who are born and raised there are Cajuns. We are a special breed." Vernon turned slightly red. "Special how?" "Oh, our love for crazy, spice and parties. We go nuts for just about anything." Xypher laughed. "I'll say."

Harry continued watching how his family interacted with each other until it was time to eat. That was when things began to grow interesting...

They had made it through the main courses and were now on dessert. Everything was going fine until Xypher asked, "So, Harry, where do you go to school." Harry glanced at his uncle, who responded to Xypher's question. "He goes to St. Brutus's. It an institute for young criminal boys." That made the blue-eyed man's eyes narrow. "Really? Harry, what do they do there?" Harry looked at his plate. "I don't like talking about it." Simone glanced from her fiancee to her cousin. "Oh? Xypher. Apologize for bringing up bad memories."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Apologize for what? Bringing up bad memories of a place that doesn't exist?" That made all of the Dursleys' freeze."W-What do you mean? Place doesn't exist? That's impossible." said Vernon. Xypher raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then tell me, why do you keep glancing at Harry like he did something wrong? And your vein on your neck is popping out, also another thing. I can see the fear in your eyes, so, please tell me where does Harry go to school?" Harry's green eyes widened. He got everything down to a T on his uncle. Vernon looked like a walrus right the, puffed up and ready to attack. Petunia turned pale and Dudley's eyes were wide with fear.

Simone narrowed her eyes as she looked at Petunia. "Petunia, where does Dudley go to school?" The horse-like woman answered, "Smeltings. A fine school for a fine young boy." Harry glanced at the corner where the two ghosts were hanging out in. The girl scoffed, "Fine? I went and scoped out his room when we arrived. Kid is seriously fucked up." 80s boy patted her on the arm. "Now Gloria, we know it is possible that he may become a serial killer but when that time comes, we can always since Xypher on him." Ghost girl harrumphed. "Alright, but don't come crying to me when you've heard he's killed someone."

Harry had had enough and looked at Simone, "Simone? Can you please tell those two in the corner to please shut up?" Silence fell over the dinner table. Harry covered his mouth as he realized his slip up and began stuttering, "I-I mean-" He was interrupted by Xypher laughing. Simone sighed and looked at the two ghosts. "I agree with Harry. Jesse, Gloria I can have Acheron come over here and escort you two home." The Dursleys were looking at Simone like she had a 2nd head. "Uh, Simone? Who are you talking to?" Vernon asked, fear in his voice.

"Jesse and Gloria. Jesse has been haunting me since I was ten and Gloria is a ghost who I met around the time I met Xypher. She was killed and Jesse and I ran into her at the morgue. They are both very nice." Xypher scoffed, "Yeah, when they aren't arguing about Jesse's music." Simone turned to him. "Yes dear but do remember, Jesse is forever stuck in the 80s." "Yeah!" Jesse stuck his tongue out at the tall man. Xypher reached out and smacked him on the head.

Harry's eyes widened. "Y-You can touch them?" Simone sighed, folding her arms. "Great, just great. I wanted us to keep that secret dear. Now, you are stuck living on the couch for the next 50 years." Her soon-to-be husband gave her a sad look. "But Simone-" "No buts! I didn't want them to know! Great, now we do have to call Ash."

Harry stood and waved his hands. "Whoa! What are you talking about. You two aren't normal, are you?" Simone slowly shook her head, "No Harry we aren't." Vernon looked at Petunia and bellowed, "FREAKS! You let more freaks into my house Petunia?" Said woman grabbed her husband's arm. "I didn't know Vernon! I swear I didn't!" Xypher roared, "HOLD ON! Everyone shut up and sit the FUCK DOWN!" Silence fell across the room.

The Greek man nodded. "Now that's better. Vernon, explain to me what the hell is a Freak? And I suggest you make it fast, my tolerance level for you is growing shorter by the second. Start talking." Vernon growled, "You know, one of _his_ kind." The fat man pointed at Harry, who had his hands folded in his lap. "His kind? And just what is Harry?" snarled out Simone, eyes slowly turning red. "I'm a wizard Simone. Isn't that what you and Xypher are? Members of the Magical Community?"

Xypher and Simone paused before Xypher began to laugh. "Us? Witches and Wizards? Oh ho you wish! I am something a lot more fucking terrifying that a wizard Dursley." He looked at the fat man. "You think being a wizard is bad? Well guess what? You are now related to something a lot more scarier than that." Harry frowned.

"What do you mean." Jesse told Harry, "Simone is half-gallu demon and Xypher is half Phobotory Skotos, half-gallu demon." The Boy-Who-Lived blinked, while the Dursleys looked fearful. "Huh?" asked the wizard. "I'm the son of a Nightmare God and a Sumerian demon. Simone's father was a demon. Same kind my mother was. Only her father was higher on the demon food chain." explained the Skotos.

"But man, never knew Simone was related to a wizard!" said Gloria. Simone rested her forehead on her palm. "Why can't things in my life go right?" Jesse shrugged as Harry looked at his cousin. "So, what kind of magical abilities do you guys have?" Xypher gave Harry an evil smirk, "Kid, the things I can do make Merlin look like a poser." Vernon, apparently had enough. He stood and said, "Out! I will not tolerate any more freaks in my house!" Xypher gave him a droll stare. "I suggest you don't order me around. Last guy who did, well, lets just say he saw what his innards looked like." Simone swatted at him.

"Xypher! Leave the human alone!" Harry smiled, loving his new relatives as he bonded more with Simone and Xypher, completely ignoring the Dursleys, who sat frozen in their seats...

Harry sat in the lounge with Xypher and Simone, Jesse and Gloria were hanging around as well. The Dursleys were in the living room, sitting in fear. After dessert, Harry suggested that their guest go back to the lounge to relax while Harry cleaned up. Xypher, who wanted to scare the Dursleys some more, waved his hand and the food was put away and the dishes were clean, placed back in their original places. Harry's eyes widened and asked if he could learn how to do that. It made the half-demon laugh and said, "I can teach you how to do that and more."

That made Vernon say, "You aren't going to teach him how to do any magic in my house!" In retaliation, Xypher transformed into a shadowy shape, flew to the ceiling and proceeded to scare the ever living hell out of the Muggles. It made Harry laugh and, once Xypher returned to normal, "how did you do that?" "Son of a Nightmare God here. Can do that shit and more." And right now, they were sitting in the lounge, Harry letting Simone play with his shoulder length hair, while listening to Xypher tell him stories about the Greek Gods and Goddesses.

"So, in retaliation to making the Daimons, Artemis created the Dark-Hunters." Harry looked at the Skotos. "Wow...that's interesting but what's a Dark-Hunter?" Simone chuckled. "A Dark-Hunter is a person who sold their soul to Artemis in order to fight Daimons. They die by cruel hands and their soul screams through the halls of Olympus. Artemis hears this and goes to them. For one day, they get to act out their revenge but in return, they must work for her. Until they find their out clause." Green eyes looked at the Southern demon.

"And what's that?" Xypher picked up there, "It's different for every Dark-Hunter. But recently, a lot of them have been getting their out clause. Mostly the ones who get stationed in New Orleans. Don't know why but Simone thinks it is romantic." His soon-to-be wife stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh shush you. It is. And do remember, extended life here and you can take it to the bank that you know." Xypher shut up and gave her a look. "Yes but then I can always go hang out with Ash and them." Harry laughed and smiled at the bickering couple. The young wizard looked over to the two ghosts and promptly blushed. They were necking in the corner.

"S-Simone! The ghosts!" "Hmm? Oh good gods above Jesse! Gloria! Stop it! I swear you too are worse that rabbits!" the two ghost broke apart, blushing. Xypher laughed as Simone scolded the two ghosts. Harry just sat there, a smile on his face...

END! Man, this was easier than originally thought! But man, one of my longest chapters! 6 pages! C: Yays! Any who, PRESS THE BIG BLUE BUTTON! I live off reviews!


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